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He came up with so many funny lines that fellow programmer Robert Lindsley created a batch file that many of us ran in our autoexec.bat files. It would display a random quote from Carlos every time we restarted our computers (which was quite often back in those days!). This was later turned into a program by Doug Oldfield which floated around the company for years, always bringing a smile to those who knew and loved Carlos.
What a great guy. Carlos, my man, you will be missed!
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“Que te pasa, Calabasa?!”
“There’s a fine line between my friends… and the people I get stuck working with.”
“I’m sorry I’m doing such a poor job of pretending I’m listening.”
“He is a legend… in his own mind.”
“I like you just as much today as I did yesterday.”
“You must have mistaken me for someone who cares.”
“I’m mildly impressed.”
“Don’t get married. Don’t have kids!”
“When I say ‘we’ I’m really talking about you!”
“As long as your code has lots of white space and comments…. who cares if it works”
“When I say ‘we’ I’m really talking about you.”
“Just wedge it.”
“As long as your code has lots of white space and comments…. who cares if it works.”
“I think the problem is between the chair and the keyboard.”
“Happy thoughts, phony smile.”
“Why be nice when you can be honest?”
“It’s not what you say or do… it’s your timing that counts.”
“I have all day to be rude… but I’d rather wait until just the right moment.”
“Let me apologize in advance for tomorrow’s rudeness.”
“Let me get this right, you just said, ‘Blah, blah, blah, blah’?”
“It doesn’t get any better than this.”
“Have a nice day.”
“I treat you like I treat everyone else… like dirt.”
“I will give it the attention it deserves.”
“I’m not trying to save the world… but maybe I should — it would be easier.”
“This is not rocket science.”
“This is not brain surgery.”
“He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.”
“Did you ride the short bus to school?”
“I almost care.”
“What color is the sky in your world?”
“Yeah. What’re ya gonna do?”
“I think this Internet thing is gonna take off.”
“I hear DOS is making a comeback.”
“It could be worse; it could be me.”
“You’re full of useless information.”
“I used to care”
“I can almost call you a friend.”
“You’re more full of shit than a Christmas goose.”
“I’m not asking for much.”
“Good enough for who it’s for.”
“You must have mistaken me for someone who cares.”
“Feel free to tell me all about it; not that I’m listening.”
“Did you ever think it might just be you?”
“It’s not magic, it’s just code!”
“…and he used to be such a respected programmer.”
“I’ve seen it all; I’ve done it all. I just can’t remember it all.”
“Do you want some cheese with that whine?”
“Take your time… I have all day.”
“Don’t be alarmed if I happen to snore while you’re talking.”
“Let me connect you with someone who cares.”
“Which part of read-only don’t you understand!?”
“We came very close to being friends.”
“Cats are why they invented lighter fluid.”
“If I had feelings, they’d be hurt.”
“I like you just as much today as I did yesterday.”
“If I never see you again, it’ll be too soon.”
“What a dork!”
“Let’s make a deal: you continue talking and I’ll continue pretending to listen.”
“I’m sorry, did I say that out loud?”
“Don’t let me slow down your search for someone who cares.”
“There’s a fine line between my friends and the people I’m stuck working with.”
“Anything is better than crashing.”
“You know, it’s always something.”
“There’s a fine line between a bug and sloppy code.”
“You know you’re lost if you have to make a printout.”
“That’s the start of a good idea!”
“I’m not grouchy! I just expect perfection.”
“I’d like to order a beer for me and Kool-Aid for my date.”
“What’s a gig between friends?”
“If I want any more shit from you, I’ll squeeze your head.”
“If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.”
“Hold on while I put on my ‘Give-a-Damn’ face.”
“Exactly which orifice would you like me to pull that miracle out of?!”
“Don’t let the door hit you on the way to Development!”
“To know me is to hate me.”
“There are now 95 employees. That makes 80 that I don’t know, nor care to know!”
“I don’t get paid nearly enough to care.”
“Great. I’ll put everything else aside and focus on your problem.”
“But this is my happy face.”
“A fool and his money soon become my close personal friends.”
“Your money and my pocket are a match made in heaven.”
“Even freeware is written better than that!”
“I share my bitterness with everyone!”
“Someday I’ll work with professionals; until then, I’m stuck with Paul!”
“What good are friends if I can’t take advantage of them?”
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!”
“You’re not special; it’s just data.”
“Purgatory is Purgatory whether or not you have a window.”
“Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong.”
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When I say ‘we’ I’m really talking about you!!
Just wedge it!!
As long as your code has lots of white space and comments…. who cares if it works!
I think the problem is between the chair and the keyboard!!
Happy thoughts, Phony smile!
Why be nice when you can be honest?!
It’s not what you say or do…. it’s the timing that counts!
I have all day to be rude… but I’d rather wait until just the right moment!
Let me apologize in advance for tomorrow’s rudeness!
“Let me get this right, you just said…. Blah, blah, blah, blah”
“It doesn’t get any better than this!”
“Have a nice day!”
“I treat you like I treat everyone else”
“I will give it the attention it deserves”
“I’m not trying to save the world… But maybe I should, it would be easier!”
“It’s not Rocket Science!”
“It’s not Brain Surgery!”
“Shut up!”
“..not the sharpest tool in the shed”
“Did you ride on the short bus or the long bus when you where going to school?”
“I almost cared”
“I try to treat you like everyone else!”
“Every day above ground is a great day”
“You know….. “
“What’s the color is the sky in your world?!”
“Yeah……… What’re you gonna’ do?”
“I hear this Internet thing is going to take off”
“I hear DOS is making a big come-back”
“It could be worse, it could be me”
“I’m mildly impressed”
“You’re full of lots of useless information”
“ I used to care”
“I can almost call you friend”
“You’re full of more stuff than a Christmas Goose!”
“I’m not asking for much”
“It’s good enough for who it’s for”
“You must have mistaken me for someone who cares”
“Feel free to tell me all about it, not that I’m listening”
“Did you ever think it might be you?”
“It’s not Hocus Pocus, it’s just Code!”
“…. and he used to be such a respected programmer…”
“I’ve seen it all, I’ve done it all, I just can’t remember it all”
“Do you want some cheese with that whine?”
“Take your time… I have all day!”
“Don’t be alarmed if I happen to snore while you’re talking”
“Let me connect you with someone who cares!”
“Buy my book: Permits Plus® for Dummies”
“I’m sorry I’m doing such a poor job of pretending I’m listening”
“Which part of Read-Only don’t you understand!?”
“We came very close to being friends!”
“Cats are why they invented Lighter Fluid.”
“If I had any feelings, they’d be hurt!”
“I like you just as much today as I did yesterday.”
“If I never see you again…. It’ll be too soon!”
“What a dork!”
“I’ll make you a deal: You continue talking and I’ll continue pretending to be listening.”
“I’m sorry, did I say that out loud?”
“Don’t let me slow down your search for someone who cares!”
“There’s a fine line between my friends… and the people I get stuck working with.”
“..anything is better than crashing!”
“You know…… It’s always Something!”
“Oh well….. What are you gonna do?!”
“There’s a Fine Line between a Bug and just Sloppy Coding!”
“You know you’re lost if you have to make a print-out!”
“That’s the start of a good idea!”
“I’m Not Grouchy! I Just Expect Perfection!”
“I’d like to order a beer for me and Kool-Aid for my date!”
“How can I soar like an Eagle when I’m surrounded by Turkeys!”
“What’s a Gig between friends?”
“If I want any poo poo from you I’ll squeeze your head!”
“If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you!”
“Hold on while I put on my ‘Give-a-Darn’ face.”
“…and exactly which orifice would you like me to pull that miracle out of?!
“Don’t let the door hit you on the way to Development!”
“To know me is to hate me.”
“Bob says there are now 95 employees…. That makes 80 that I don’t know nor care to know!”
“I don’t get paid nearly enough to care!”
“Let me put everything else aside and focus on your problem!”
“But this is my happy face!”
A fool and his money soon become my close personal friends.
Your money and my pocket are a match made in heaven.
Even FreeWare is written better than that!
I share my bitterness with everyone!
Someday I’ll work with professionals… until then I’m stuck with Paul!
What good are friends if I can’t take advantage of them?
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late!
You’re not special! It’s just data!
Purgatory is Purgatory whether or not you have a window.
We had 95 employees at Accela… 50 of which I never got to meet!!
Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong!
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Adventure – gameography
Mixed-Up Mother Goose (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Daryl F. Gates Police Quest: Open Season (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! (1990), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Conquests of the Longbow: The Legend of Robin Hood (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Code-Name: Iceman (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (1987), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Pepper’s Adventures in Time (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ Phantasmagoria (1995), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Puzzle-Solving – gameography
Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Pepper’s Adventures in Time (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (1987), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! (1990), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Medieval / Fantasy – gameography
Conquests of the Longbow: The Legend of Robin Hood (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! (1990), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Adult – gameography
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (1987), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Educational – gameography
Slater & Charlie Go Camping (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Mixed-Up Mother Goose (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Pepper’s Adventures in Time (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Detective / Mystery – gameography
Daryl F. Gates Police Quest: Open Season (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Horror – gameography
Roberta Williams’ Phantasmagoria (1995), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Naval – gameography
Code-Name: Iceman (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Real-Time – gameography
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Role-Playing (RPG) – gameography
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Sci-Fi / Futuristic – gameography
Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Simulation – gameography
Code-Name: Iceman (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
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This group page is to share memories and thoughts of Carlos Escobar, especially friends from Sierra On-line, but others elsewhere. Carlos was an inimitable, funny, a little crazy, and overall great guy. Everyone remembered him. Everyone remembered what he said. In fact, the name of the page “Carlos Says” comes from someone (Doug? or Robert L?) creating a program with all of his quotes.
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For some reason, that I have long since forgotten, I had to use his work computer on a day when he was out. One of the other programmers at Sierra cued me in that he tracked all log-ins on his system. Knowing that I just had to mess with him. I found the log file, edited it and made it look as if the company VP had logged on to his system with a password “terminator”. We all had a pretty good laugh next day when he reviewed his log and nearly freaked out. We remained friends till I left the company.
Truly a nice guy. He will be remembered.
Darv
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Carlos, you could always make us laugh, and that was–and is–valuable beyond measure.
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Although he had his demons, I was pleased to learn he had conquered them. It’s a shame he passed so young. I’ve missed you these past years, Carlos, and we’ll all continue to miss you!
If anyone has a copy of the text of Carlos Says, please post it here. I was sure I had a copy somewhere but I can no longer find it.
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