In Memory – Carlos Escobar



From Al Lowe’s website:


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Carlos Escobar was a programmer at Sierra Online in the late 80s and early 90s. He worked with me on many games, including LSL2: Leisure Suit Larry Goes Looking for Love (in Several Wrong Places), Leisure Suit Larry 3: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals, Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work and Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out!. He was a wonderful, warm, witty, droll, and dry individual who entertained all around him. He was also kind, always coming up with some new way to help those who needed help.

He came up with so many funny lines that fellow programmer Robert Lindsley created a batch file that many of us ran in our autoexec.bat files. It would display a random quote from Carlos every time we restarted our computers (which was quite often back in those days!). This was later turned into a program by Doug Oldfield which floated around the company for years, always bringing a smile to those who knew and loved Carlos.

What a great guy. Carlos, my man, you will be missed!


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“That’s an idea.”

“Que te pasa, Calabasa?!”

“There’s a fine line between my friends… and the people I get stuck working with.”

“I’m sorry I’m doing such a poor job of pretending I’m listening.”

“He is a legend… in his own mind.”

“I like you just as much today as I did yesterday.”

“You must have mistaken me for someone who cares.”

“I’m mildly impressed.”

“Don’t get married. Don’t have kids!”

“When I say ‘we’ I’m really talking about you!”

“As long as your code has lots of white space and comments…. who cares if it works”

“When I say ‘we’ I’m really talking about you.”

“Just wedge it.”

“As long as your code has lots of white space and comments…. who cares if it works.”

“I think the problem is between the chair and the keyboard.”

“Happy thoughts, phony smile.”

“Why be nice when you can be honest?”

“It’s not what you say or do… it’s your timing that counts.”

“I have all day to be rude… but I’d rather wait until just the right moment.”

“Let me apologize in advance for tomorrow’s rudeness.”

“Let me get this right, you just said, ‘Blah, blah, blah, blah’?”

“It doesn’t get any better than this.”

“Have a nice day.”

“I treat you like I treat everyone else… like dirt.”

“I will give it the attention it deserves.”

“I’m not trying to save the world… but maybe I should — it would be easier.”

“This is not rocket science.”

“This is not brain surgery.”

“He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.”

“Did you ride the short bus to school?”

“I almost care.”

“What color is the sky in your world?”

“Yeah. What’re ya gonna do?”

“I think this Internet thing is gonna take off.”

“I hear DOS is making a comeback.”

“It could be worse; it could be me.”

“You’re full of useless information.”

“I used to care”

“I can almost call you a friend.”

“You’re more full of shit than a Christmas goose.”

“I’m not asking for much.”

“Good enough for who it’s for.”

“You must have mistaken me for someone who cares.”

“Feel free to tell me all about it; not that I’m listening.”

“Did you ever think it might just be you?”

“It’s not magic, it’s just code!”

“…and he used to be such a respected programmer.”

“I’ve seen it all; I’ve done it all. I just can’t remember it all.”

“Do you want some cheese with that whine?”

“Take your time… I have all day.”

“Don’t be alarmed if I happen to snore while you’re talking.”

“Let me connect you with someone who cares.”

“Which part of read-only don’t you understand!?”

“We came very close to being friends.”

“Cats are why they invented lighter fluid.”

“If I had feelings, they’d be hurt.”

“I like you just as much today as I did yesterday.”

“If I never see you again, it’ll be too soon.”

“What a dork!”

“Let’s make a deal: you continue talking and I’ll continue pretending to listen.”

“I’m sorry, did I say that out loud?”

“Don’t let me slow down your search for someone who cares.”

“There’s a fine line between my friends and the people I’m stuck working with.”

“Anything is better than crashing.”

“You know, it’s always something.”

“There’s a fine line between a bug and sloppy code.”

“You know you’re lost if you have to make a printout.”

“That’s the start of a good idea!”

“I’m not grouchy! I just expect perfection.”

“I’d like to order a beer for me and Kool-Aid for my date.”

“What’s a gig between friends?”

“If I want any more shit from you, I’ll squeeze your head.”

“If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.”

“Hold on while I put on my ‘Give-a-Damn’ face.”

“Exactly which orifice would you like me to pull that miracle out of?!”

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way to Development!”

“To know me is to hate me.”

“There are now 95 employees. That makes 80 that I don’t know, nor care to know!”

“I don’t get paid nearly enough to care.”

“Great. I’ll put everything else aside and focus on your problem.”

“But this is my happy face.”

“A fool and his money soon become my close personal friends.”

“Your money and my pocket are a match made in heaven.”

“Even freeware is written better than that!”

“I share my bitterness with everyone!”

“Someday I’ll work with professionals; until then, I’m stuck with Paul!”

“What good are friends if I can’t take advantage of them?”

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!”

“You’re not special; it’s just data.”

“Purgatory is Purgatory whether or not you have a window.”

“Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong.”


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Additional quotes from Carlos can be found here:


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Que te pasa, Calabasa?!

When I say ‘we’ I’m really talking about you!!

Just wedge it!!

As long as your code has lots of white space and comments…. who cares if it works!

I think the problem is between the chair and the keyboard!!

Happy thoughts, Phony smile!

Why be nice when you can be honest?!

It’s not what you say or do…. it’s the timing that counts!

I have all day to be rude… but I’d rather wait until just the right moment!

Let me apologize in advance for tomorrow’s rudeness!

“Let me get this right, you just said…. Blah, blah, blah, blah”

“It doesn’t get any better than this!”

“Have a nice day!”

“I treat you like I treat everyone else”

“I will give it the attention it deserves”

“I’m not trying to save the world… But maybe I should, it would be easier!”

“It’s not Rocket Science!”

“It’s not Brain Surgery!”

“Shut up!”

“..not the sharpest tool in the shed”

“Did you ride on the short bus or the long bus when you where going to school?”

“I almost cared”

“I try to treat you like everyone else!”

“Every day above ground is a great day”

“You know….. “

“What’s the color is the sky in your world?!”

“Yeah……… What’re you gonna’ do?”

“I hear this Internet thing is going to take off”

“I hear DOS is making a big come-back”

“It could be worse, it could be me”

“I’m mildly impressed”

“You’re full of lots of useless information”

“ I used to care”

“I can almost call you friend”

“You’re full of more stuff than a Christmas Goose!”

“I’m not asking for much”

“It’s good enough for who it’s for”

“You must have mistaken me for someone who cares”

“Feel free to tell me all about it, not that I’m listening”

“Did you ever think it might be you?”

“It’s not Hocus Pocus, it’s just Code!”

“…. and he used to be such a respected programmer…”

“I’ve seen it all, I’ve done it all, I just can’t remember it all”

“Do you want some cheese with that whine?”

“Take your time… I have all day!”

“Don’t be alarmed if I happen to snore while you’re talking”

“Let me connect you with someone who cares!”

“Buy my book: Permits Plus® for Dummies”

“I’m sorry I’m doing such a poor job of pretending I’m listening”

“Which part of Read-Only don’t you understand!?”

“We came very close to being friends!”

“Cats are why they invented Lighter Fluid.”

“If I had any feelings, they’d be hurt!”

“I like you just as much today as I did yesterday.”

“If I never see you again…. It’ll be too soon!”

“What a dork!”

“I’ll make you a deal: You continue talking and I’ll continue pretending to be listening.”

“I’m sorry, did I say that out loud?”

“Don’t let me slow down your search for someone who cares!”

“There’s a fine line between my friends… and the people I get stuck working with.”

“..anything is better than crashing!”

“You know…… It’s always Something!”

“Oh well….. What are you gonna do?!”

“There’s a Fine Line between a Bug and just Sloppy Coding!”

“You know you’re lost if you have to make a print-out!”

“That’s the start of a good idea!”

“I’m Not Grouchy! I Just Expect Perfection!”

“I’d like to order a beer for me and Kool-Aid for my date!”

“How can I soar like an Eagle when I’m surrounded by Turkeys!”

“What’s a Gig between friends?”

“If I want any poo poo from you I’ll squeeze your head!”

“If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you!”

“Hold on while I put on my ‘Give-a-Darn’ face.”

“…and exactly which orifice would you like me to pull that miracle out of?!

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way to Development!”

“To know me is to hate me.”

“Bob says there are now 95 employees…. That makes 80 that I don’t know nor care to know!”

“I don’t get paid nearly enough to care!”

“Let me put everything else aside and focus on your problem!”

“But this is my happy face!”

A fool and his money soon become my close personal friends.

Your money and my pocket are a match made in heaven.

Even FreeWare is written better than that!

I share my bitterness with everyone!

Someday I’ll work with professionals… until then I’m stuck with Paul!

What good are friends if I can’t take advantage of them?

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late!

You’re not special! It’s just data!

Purgatory is Purgatory whether or not you have a window.

We had 95 employees at Accela… 50 of which I never got to meet!!

Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong!


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Carlos wasn’t just a funny guy, he had a very extensive history at Sierra:

Adventure – gameography
Mixed-Up Mother Goose (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Daryl F. Gates Police Quest: Open Season (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! (1990), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Conquests of the Longbow: The Legend of Robin Hood (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Code-Name: Iceman (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (1987), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Pepper’s Adventures in Time (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ Phantasmagoria (1995), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Puzzle-Solving – gameography

Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Pepper’s Adventures in Time (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (1987), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! (1990), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Medieval / Fantasy – gameography
Conquests of the Longbow: The Legend of Robin Hood (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! (1990), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Adult – gameography
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (1987), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Educational – gameography
Slater & Charlie Go Camping (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Mixed-Up Mother Goose (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Pepper’s Adventures in Time (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Detective / Mystery – gameography

Daryl F. Gates Police Quest: Open Season (1993), Sierra On-Line, Inc.
Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Horror – gameography
Roberta Williams’ Phantasmagoria (1995), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Naval – gameography
Code-Name: Iceman (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Real-Time – gameography
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Role-Playing (RPG) – gameography
Quest for Glory I: So You Want To Be A Hero (1992), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Sci-Fi / Futuristic – gameography
Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991), Sierra On-Line, Inc.

Simulation – gameography

Code-Name: Iceman (1989), Sierra On-Line, Inc.


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There is a Facebook page in Carlos’ memory which David Slayback explained: If you did not know, Carlos passed away on July 4, 2011. I just found out 2 weeks ago. I contacted his wife to find out details: he had a massive stroke and was in the hospital for 12 days before they took him off life support. He has a wife (Rebecca) and son (Nicolas).

This group page is to share memories and thoughts of Carlos Escobar, especially friends from Sierra On-line, but others elsewhere. Carlos was an inimitable, funny, a little crazy, and overall great guy. Everyone remembered him. Everyone remembered what he said. In fact, the name of the page “Carlos Says” comes from someone (Doug? or Robert L?) creating a program with all of his quotes.


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On Sept 7th, 2011 – Edward Slim Critchlow shared: OMG Today was his birthday. In Carlos spirit I send him the message” Happy B-Day Carlos, now get back to work”. I can’t believe he’s dead. To me he was the most friendly and funny guy at Sierra. When I first got there Carlos made sure to include me in the bi-weekly dinner outings in Fresno. One of the best lines Carlos had was when he was mimicking Ken Williams saying “I wouldn’t lie to you…….again” The guy was an original. Thanks for letting me know Dave.


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Chris Willis shared: I remember Carlos was the guy who was always smiling when I’d see him in the hallways at Sierra. I didn’t know him well while I was there. RIP Carlos. My heart goes out to his family.


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Spartaco Margioni shared: OMG! I use to talk to him all the time, making each other laugh and he was a great guy. Truly missed and such great energy at Sierra back in those days. He always gave me a smile when needed. Miss you amigo.


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Barry T. Smith shared: That is really sad news. =( I remember Jane Cardinal did the most amazing caricature of Carlos. I think it was even used in the Carlos Sez app. Always a funny guy with an offbeat sense of humor. He will be missed.


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Darvin Atkeson shared: I remember my first interaction with Carlos…

For some reason, that I have long since forgotten, I had to use his work computer on a day when he was out. One of the other programmers at Sierra cued me in that he tracked all log-ins on his system. Knowing that I just had to mess with him. I found the log file, edited it and made it look as if the company VP had logged on to his system with a password “terminator”. We all had a pretty good laugh next day when he reviewed his log and nearly freaked out. We remained friends till I left the company.

Truly a nice guy. He will be remembered.

Darv


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Lorelei Shannon shared: Aw man, I’m so sad to hear about this. Carlos was a character. Smart, funny, and always interesting. The world is a less cool place without him.


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Bridget McKenna shared: I’m so sorry to hear Carlos has left us. He was such a character, and so much a part of our everyday life at Sierra. During our Sierra days, Marti and I wrote a story and put a character in it–a programmer–who said things like “They don’t pay me enough to think.” That was one of our favorite “Carlos says” lines.

Carlos, you could always make us laugh, and that was–and is–valuable beyond measure.


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Scott Murphy shared: Hopefully, over time people can compile “The Best of Carlos Says”. He would so often say what we would only dare to think, and then some. (Well, except for the odd occasion when I couldn’t shut up.)


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Robin Bradley shared: This really pains me. Wasn’t he the head of a Mexican Cartel? We were merciless with each other but he always got the best of me. Sometimes we would fight but always end of laughing at ourselves. I remember working all nighters with Al, and Carlos on LSL in the late 80′s when a team was comprised of but 3. Those were magical daze and yes he made my life miserable. It was a love/hate relationship. RIP Carlos.


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Al Lowe shared: As I recall, Carlos started at Sierra by working with me on LSL2: Leisure Suit Larry Goes Looking for Love (in Several Wrong Places), often in my home. We eventually got a small office near the Fresno airport. He and I were together for many years and games thereafter. I can’t tell you how many times he made me laugh out loud at something clever and creative that he thought up. He contributed much of the silliness in those games. I still use a phrase of his often and, when I do, I always think about the good times we shared. The phrase? “That’s AN idea,” to show contempt for perceived stupidity.

Although he had his demons, I was pleased to learn he had conquered them. It’s a shame he passed so young. I’ve missed you these past years, Carlos, and we’ll all continue to miss you!

If anyone has a copy of the text of Carlos Says, please post it here. I was sure I had a copy somewhere but I can no longer find it.


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