Freddy Pharkas – Frontier Pharmacist



Per Al Lowe Freddy Pharkas Page:



In 1992, I noticed that there wasn’t a single Western computer game, even though Western movies had been popular off and on for years. But I wanted to make a humorous Western. What sort of Western could be funny? While discussing this with Roberta Williams, I started to say “farmer” but my mouth tried to say “rancher”and out came a tangled mess that kind of sounded like, “farmer-cist.” Hey! A pharmacist? Why not? Thus was born Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist!

I think it may well be my funniest game, due in great part to the wit of Josh Mandel. Computer Gaming World called it “The Blazing Saddles of computer games” (see box cover below) which I considered perfect praise since that movie was my inspiration.

Freddy had quite a bit of “back story” needed in order to explain the plot, so Josh Mandel (my co-designer on the game) wrote these brilliant lyrics to go with a simple Western song that I wrote. Aubrey Hodges then MIDI-strated the theme.

For the recording session, we hired some great musicians, but we had trouble finding anyone who could sing corny enough and funny enough, while still keeping the lyrics understandable. Everybody on “Team Freddy” agreed: Al Lowe sings real funny! So? I ended up using me. The ballad (785 KB) and end ballad (1.5 MB) are also available for download. (Lyrics for both are found at the bottom of this page!)

You can download the Freddy Pharkas Game Design PDF (588 KB).

If you don’t have the manual, you can download the converted document to PDF (287 KB), Office Document (96KB), or the PDF (6.9 MB).

Check out the ads that were run for the game – The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and From the Creator of Leisure Suit Larry Comes a Western…

MIDI files of much of the music written especially for Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist by Aubrey Hodges.

EXTRAS:

The “Out Takes” of Freddy Pharkas (written by Josh Mandel) can be downloaded here. (59MB)

The sound of “Score!” is available for download. (35 KB)

The ballad (785 KB) and end ballad (1.5 MB) are also available for download. (Lyrics for both are found at the bottom of this page!)

Box Art of Freddy Pharkas:

You can download all the screenshots of the scenes within Freddy Pharkas here on LarryLaffer.net (117 MB)



The Ballad of Freddy Pharkas:
The ballad (785 KB) and end ballad (1.5 MB) are also available for download.

Lyrics by Josh Mandel
Music by Al Lowe

He was born in old St Louie,
By the age of four Dad knew he was the
Best little crackshot the West had ever seen.
By the time he reached pubescence,
He could outshoot all the adolescents
West of Durango and north of Abilene.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
Famous gunslingin’ deputy.
Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,
Frontier hero-to-be.

Then one day young Freddy Pharkas
Stared at eyes as black and dark as night, the
Eyes of an outlaw, well-known throughout the West.
Oh, the tough kid’s name was Kenny,
And he outdrew Freddy Pharkas, when he
Shot Freddy’s ear off to prove who was the best.

Now our hero, Freddy Pharkas,
With wounded pride and earless carcass,
Vowed to the heavens to give up gunnery.
He’d be better off, he reckoned,
With the lifelong dream that always beckoned:
Pestles, not pistols, and pharmacology.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,
Highest score on his S.A.T.,
Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
Five-year college degree.

After Fred matriculated,
Got his Ph.D. and graduated,
Moved out to Coarsegold and bought a pharmacy.
He’s a real prescription writer,
And they don’t know he’s an ex-gunfighter,
Locked up his mem’ries, repressed them totally.

But his peaceful new survival
Soon was shot to hell upon arrival
Of Coarsegold’s schoolmarm, the sweet Penelope.
She has captured Fred’s affection,
But he’s scared he’ll get a huge …rejection,
Can’t bear to tell her just what he used to be.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
Frontier Pharmacist bourgeoisie,
Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
Peerless, earless, and free!

Copyright 1992 by Al Lowe

The Closing Ballad of Freddy Pharkas:
The ballad (785 KB) and end ballad (1.5 MB) are also available for download.

Lyrics by Josh Mandel & Al Lowe
Music by Al Lowe

Now the whole town still remembers
How the old schoolhouse was blown to embers
Though Miss Primm’s body was never, ever found.
Since the sheriff and the banker
Made the folks of Coarsegold red with anger,
They tarred and feathered and ran ‘em out of town.

And Srini? He became an ordinary Rexall tepee shaman
Down on the Pecos, where Injun hearts still burn.
While the townsfolk, safe from danger
Talk about that silver-earlobed stranger:
Where did he come from?
And when will he return?

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
Black gold fields were his legacy.
Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
Peerless, earless, and free!

Copyright 1992 by Al Lowe